I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize