Will you blow on my dice?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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