I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
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we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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