erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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