Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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