He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
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Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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