So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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