Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize