she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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