i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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