how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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