dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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