Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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