everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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