come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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