i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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