8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize