wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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