Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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