he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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