just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I think I sprained my soul last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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