Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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