So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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