okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize