I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize