My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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