I wish they made helmets for livers.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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