i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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