Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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