Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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