I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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