I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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