its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
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Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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