i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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