Duck Duck Cougar?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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