you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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