the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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