allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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