Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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