If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize