Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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