Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize