I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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