I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
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Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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