I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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