I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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