It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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