Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize