This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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