Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He passed out mid-signature
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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